Toe Socks
by Freelancer
Summary: ADMM. Minerva has found the perfect Christmas gift for Albus...


DISCLAIMER: Alas, I own nothing… otherwise there would be no need for me to be writing fan fiction, would there?

A/N: Just some random plotless humor.  Mostly dialogue, in the typical manner of my new humor style.  Yay.  Enjoy.

~~ This story is dedicated to Lanzer, who was talking to me when the plot bunny attacked and waited patiently for me to finish this.  ~~

            Knock, knock.

            "Who's there?"

            "It's me."

            "How do I know it's you?"

            "I couldn't have gotten up here without a password, Albus.  May I come in?"

            "Minerva, is it really you, or is this Severus doing your Minerva impression again?"

            "It's really – wait a minute!  Severus does an impression of me?"

            "Yes, and quite a good one, I must say.  Come in, Minerva."

            "Thank you."

            "So, what brings you up to the headmaster's office at this hour on Christmas Eve?"

            "Do I really need an reason to see you?"

            "You always did before."

            "And what is that supposed to mean?"

            He shrugged.

            "Good question."

            "All right.  I confess.  There _is a reason."_

            "Ha.  I knew it."

            "Here."

            "Oh my.  What's this?"

            "It's your Christmas present."

            "My… my Christmas present?  Why, thank you.  I'm flattered.  What is it?"

            She laughed.

            "Open it and find out."

            "Oh, I couldn't do that… Christmas isn't until tomorrow."

            "Then what, pray tell, is the difference between me telling you and you waiting to open it until tomorrow or you just opening it right now and finding out?"

            "That's not the point.  It's the principle of the thing.  And besides, you're supposed to ask.  It's tradition.  Do you remember last year, when I baked you those cookies and…"

            "And I could smell them and everything, but I still asked you what they were anyway?  Of course I remember.  And those cookies were delicious."

            "I always thought you were a chocolate chip sort of woman."

            "Is that a good thing?"

            "Oh, of course.  Chocolate chip is my favorite."

            "Then does that make me your favorite sort of woman?"

            "As if you didn't already see that coming."

            Their eyes met for a brief moment, then both looked away, smiling shyly.

            "Well… are you going to open it or not?"

            "Oh, I couldn't possibly."

            "Why not?"

            "Because I don't have your present handy."

            "So?"

            "I would feel terrible if you were to give me something and I were unable to give you something in return."

            "You can give me the delighted feeling that is sure to result when you open that package and see its contents."

            "Well…"

            "Albus.  Open.  The.  Package."

            "You're sure?  You're _really sure?"_

            "Would I have _come up here in the first place if I WASN'T 'really sure'_?"

            "All right.  If you insist."

            "Yes.  I insist."

            He opened the package and gasped.

            "Oh, my…"

            "Do you like them?"

            "Well, of course, but… but what are they?  I mean, they almost look like gloves, but clearly, they're not."

            "No, they're not.  They're called toe socks.  I saw them in a Muggle shop in London a few weeks ago and couldn't resist."

            "Toe socks?  Ingenious!  So you… you _put your _toes_ in there?"_

            "Yes, I believe that's the purpose.  I haven't actually tried them out for myself; they just looked like something you would like."

            "Minerva, you are _amazing_.  I always said that one could never have too many pairs of socks, but these… these are _more_ than socks!  They're… they're _gloves for your __feet!"_

            She laughed.

            "Well, I suppose you could think of it that way."

            "And in Gryffindor colors, too.  I don't know how to thank you.  All the chocolate chip cookies in the world can't compare to this."

            "Albus, they're just toe socks."

            "That's not the point.  It's-"

            "The principle of the thing, right?"

            "Yes.  And the principle of the thing is that these are not just toe socks.  This is a very thoughtful gift from a dear friend, and that's what truly matters.  Thank you."

            "You're welcome."

            They made eye contact and smiled again.

            He glanced up, and his smile faded.

            "Oh, dear."

            "What?"

            "Look up."

            She did.

            "Oh dear."

            "It's mistletoe."

            "Yes, I see that.  And – wait a minute.  What is mistletoe doing in your office?"

            "Well… I have to admit that I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow morning, but I thought I should be ready just in case."

            "You mean…"

            "But only if you…"

            "Very well.  Let's get this over with."

            It wasn't over for a long time.

~~ Finite ~~


End file.
